Wed. Open: Throw your beefs at me!

This one's for Ria: (11.00 / 5)

   1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor.
     2. Get tape back from puppy.
     3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth.
     4. Open box.
     5. Take puppy out of box.
     6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth.
     7. Take scissors away from puppy.
     8. Put present in box.
     9. Remove present from puppy's mouth.
   10. Put back in box after removing puppy from box.
   11. Take scissors from older dog & sit on them.
   12. Remove puppy from box & put on lid.
   13. Take tape away from older dog.
   14. Unroll paper.
   15. Take puppy OFF box.
   16. Cut paper being careful not to cut puppy's foot or nose that is
   getting the way as she "helps".
   17. Let puppy tear paper remaining to be cuts.
   18. Take puppy off box.
   19. Wrap paper around box
   20. Remove puppy from box & take wrapping paper from her mouth.
   21. Tell older dog to hold tape so he will stop stealing it.
   22. Take scissors away from puppy.
   23. Take tape older dog is holding.
   24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog &
   sitting on them again.
   25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape & tape another spot.
   26. Take bow from older dog.
   27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with.
   28. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up.
   29. Give pen to older dog to hold so he stops licking your face.
   30. Remove puppy from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the
   paper on.
   31. Take now soggy bow from puppy & tape on since the sticky
   stuff no longer sticks.
   32. Take pen from older dog, address tag & affix while puppy tries
   to eat pen.
   33. Grab present before puppy opens it & put away.
   34. Clean up mess puppy & older dog made playing tug-of-war with
   roll of wrapping paper.
   35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good
   helpers they are.

Yesterday's pootie diary comments are a veritable fount of LOLs and I'm still only about halfway through them!

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 06:11:16 AM UTC

How to wrap a cat for Christmas: (13.00 / 3)

That is one well-trained (and well-loved) cat.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 06:41:54 AM UTC

my beef stew (15.20 / 5)

tends to contain whatever the heck is in my fridge at the time.

Beef, lots of onions, sometimes mushrooms (I'm not a huge fan), carrots, potatoes, red wine, whatever.  I like a little thyme in there, too.

Another favorite with stew beef is Goulasch--the real stuff.

Calls for about a billion ingredients, but so delicious.  Beef, onions, caraway seeds, dill, Worcestershire, beef broth a bunch of others I'm forgetting...yummy.

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by: puzzled @ Wed Dec 14, 2011 at 14:10:12 PM UTC

Hey, Xanthe, thanks (15.00 / 3)

for the promotion!  What a pleasant surprise!

So, how do YOU make beef stew?  If you do, of course...it is a comfort food for me (& a rare treat -- maybe a couple of times per winter) but there's this stand at the farmer's market selling grass-fed beef...and that's usually where I shop when I'm feeling extravagant.  The rest of the time, I'm mostly meatless, just b/c I'm poor.  Now I have to find free-range eggs....

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

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by: Youffraita @ Thu Dec 15, 2011 at 01:09:05 AM UTC

Beef stew: (15.00 / 4)

I just improvise with whatever may be in the fridge at the time.  What I also used to like to do is make a beef or liver Stroganoff, with onions, and, of course, sour cream.  I'd  brown the beef or liver after caramelizing the onions, and then let the meat simmer for awhile until done or tender, and then, at the very last possible moment, add the sour cream, and serve over white or brown rice!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

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by: mplo @ Thu Dec 15, 2011 at 01:10:19 AM UTC

Also - (15.00 / 4)

my mother loved that British Show about the department store - got a little ting there --  

For who could have foretold
That the heart grows old.
W.B. Yeats

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by: Xanthe @ Thu Dec 15, 2011 at 03:19:54 AM UTC

beef stew (15.60 / 5)

cook a big pot roast the day before w/onions, carrots, taters.
eat pot roast that night.
next day-
cut up 2-3 stalks celery in 1/2" pieces, saute a bit in butter (or olive oil)
cut up 2 onions (into 4ths, then sideways once), add to saute
smash a couple cloves garlic add to pot
add a couple quarts of beef broth (or water & bouillon cubes), 2T Worcestershire, some parsley. bring to a slow boil
cut up 2-3 potatoes add to pot, cut up 4-6 carrots into 3/4 to 1" chunks add to pot
cut up 2-3 cut up remaining roast in 1 to 1 1/2" pieces add to pot
be sure to add any remaining veg/sauce from pot roast.
cook, stirring whenever.
when potatoes/carrots are tender its ready.
i'll often thicken it up by adding some instant potatoes (put 1/2 cup boiling water in a bowl, * shake some few flakes in, stir. repeat from (*) until a baby food consistency is reached. add to stew pot. repeat if necessary until stew is at desired consistency)

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett

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by: RiaD @ Thu Dec 15, 2011 at 15:42:59 PM UTC