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Open Thoughts- Monday for the Earth ..... secret garden

  

by: Kathleen

Mon Aug 02, 2010 at 00:00:00 AM EDT


Where is your secret garden?

There are places we go in our lives that change us forever, places that open our hearts so our eyes can see more clearly, where is that place?  Can you close your eyes and go back to tap that moment when you were forever changed by the space you were in?

Where is your secret garden?  
Kathleen :: Open Thoughts- Monday for the Earth ..... secret garden

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Open Thoughts- Monday for the Earth ..... secret garden | 78 comments
Thoughts... (14.00 / 6)
I think I'm gonna have a beer. :)

My special place?  Portland.

A few others - semi-abandoned freight tracks in the woods (back in NJ); Frenchtown, NJ; a drive / ride along NJ Route 29 or NJ Route 57 in October; Evanston and a few other places in Wyoming.

Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones...

Were you ever in the Pink Elephant bar? (12.50 / 6)
I was a traveling salesman in WY in the 80s. I was in Evanston periodically while they were building the natural gas fields north of town. It was one of the wildest places I stayed (IIRC, it was in a Best Western). I'd usually hit it after passing through the trona fields in Rock Springs/Green River, spend the night, and travel to Jackson for the next night.

There was another bar called "The Boomtown". Picture this:

A town that had gone from, like, a few hundred people to some 10s of thousands literally overnite, and virtually all male. So, I go to the Boomtown Saloon to "chat up the locals" and what do I walk into? It's male stripper night!

I still haven't figured that one out.

[ Parent ]
Lol... (12.83 / 6)
Keep Evanston Weird!

;)

Nah, never been to that bar myself.  I was only there all too briefly, but it made its impression on me.  As did all of Wyoming.  Easily my second favorite place after Oregon.

I stayed a night at a motel in Rawlins, WY once, along some hideous autocentric highway strip.  Got in at night, and all I really saw were garish backlit plastic signs of gas stations and c-stores, etc.

Woke up the next morning and almost shit myself when I left my room, due to the fucking amazing views of mountains, hills and high desert in every direction.

Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones...

[ Parent ]
I was never there, either (13.83 / 6)
I met someone at the motel who was living in her room for a few months. She told me it was the roughest bar she'd ever been in.

I really liked WY. I was there for 5 years and saw the whole state, a LOT. The wild horses by Rock Springs, the hot springs at Thermopolis, WIND RIVER CANYON (a BEAUTIFUL drive!), Togwatee Pass, the Tetons, Yellowstone...

One story. I was out in the coal fields south of Gillette. One of my customers, to save me from having to drive all the way back to town, told me I could get lunch at The Cowboy Bar in Sore, WY. Sore is on T7 road. At that time it was a post office, a paddock, a house trailer, and a bar.

I walked in for lunch and the first thing I noticed was the wooden horses ass sticking out of the wall. The menu had 4 choices:

Hot dog and beans.
Hot dog and fires.
Hamburger and beans.
Hamburger and fries.

As I sat there eating my lunch two cowboys pulled up to the drive-up window and bought a 12-pack. Nothing all that unusual about drive-up liquor stores in that part of the country, but these guys were on horseback.

[ Parent ]
Tetons (14.83 / 6)
are my favorite mountains, great hikers.  Now you were in the wide west I tell ya!

Bear Shake Tree Pictures, Images and Photos
[ Parent ]
Hey Jay (13.40 / 5)
I had to laugh about how shocking it was when you woke up in WY.  I had the same thing happen when I was coming back to the northwest from Texas and we decided to spend the night in Vegas.  We check in before it got dark then went out to get something to eat in the evening and we were just blown away by the lights!  OK we were a bit stoned I must admit but have you ever seen Vegas at night it was the biggest shock from day to night every color light so bright that it is like day time with a black sky just shocking!  

Bear Shake Tree Pictures, Images and Photos
[ Parent ]
Secret garden? (15.00 / 5)
The ocean.  I still remember going to the beach with a friend's family when I was a kid, and just loving the ocean.  Much later, I discovered the joys of the Sunken Forest (a section of below-sea-level wild plants -- IIRC, it is what separates Robert Moses State Park from Fire Island proper).  It's been a very long time since I was at either RMSP or Fire Island, though, so I might be wrong about that last part.  But I definitely loved the Sunken Forest.  And the beach.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
Ooh, yes! (15.00 / 5)
Love the ocean.  Wish Oregon's Coast was more accessible to me.

:/

The difference between Oregon's (The Coast) and New Jersey's (The Shore, heh) is amazing.  Mainly because it's encoded in state law that Oregon's entire coastline is public property (thank you, Oswald West and Tom McCall!), while there are long stretches of NJ's beaches that are owned by the rich and unavailable to anybody else.

Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones...

[ Parent ]
One of my many favorite things (15.00 / 5)
about NYC is that I always knew I was living on an island.  Indeed, I only had to look down W. 41st St. to see the Hudson...or take the Staten Island ferry -- a great, cheap trip on a hot day, with the extra bonus of great birdwatching (the gulls that follow the boats).

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
A don't-miss op ed from, of all people, (13.17 / 6)
David Stockman, who was a director of the Office of Management and Budget under Reagan.  Here's a sample:

The fourth destructive change has been the hollowing out of the larger American economy. Having lived beyond our means for decades by borrowing heavily from abroad, we have steadily sent jobs and production offshore. In the past decade, the number of high-value jobs in goods production and in service categories like trade, transportation, information technology and the professions has shrunk by 12 percent, to 68 million from 77 million. The only reason we have not experienced a severe reduction in nonfarm payrolls since 2000 is that there has been a gain in low-paying, often part-time positions in places like bars, hotels and nursing homes.

It is not surprising, then, that during the last bubble (from 2002 to 2006) the top 1 percent of Americans - paid mainly from the Wall Street casino - received two-thirds of the gain in national income, while the bottom 90 percent - mainly dependent on Main Street's shrinking economy - got only 12 percent. This growing wealth gap is not the market's fault. It's the decaying fruit of bad economic policy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08...

Not sure I agree with everything he writes in this piece, but he lays the blame for our economic woes firmly where it belongs: the GOP.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

David Stockman... (14.20 / 5)
...has long been an economic conservative apostate.

;)

Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones...

[ Parent ]
Marbled Veggie Bread (15.00 / 5)
This looks SO good.  Not for the novice bread baker...but SO good:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyo...

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

Earthships in Haiti (14.20 / 5)
This is cool!......

http://www.mnn.com/your-home/g...

Bear Shake Tree Pictures, Images and Photos

thanks kathleen (15.00 / 4)
hopefully i'll be able to get back to this later today.

but there's a chance i won't....
our girl & the princess are on their way
be here in a couple hours.


"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


Oh, Ria, enjoy your girl & Princess! (10.33 / 3)
That is SO much more important than blogging!

But we will miss you: send pics our way, OK?

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
newp, alma or timbuk (15.00 / 4)
could one of you pleeze put up a STAR QUILT DIARY for Sara tomorrow at dkos?

i had said i could but w/the princess coming i fear i'll not have a moment to myself, much less time to 'sit' on a diary for a couple hours.

tnx!

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


I can do it (13.75 / 4)
unless anyone else would like to, just let me know. like you, Ria, I won't really have time to respond to comments, we're in the middle of organizing and packing, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that someone else can handle it...


It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm
[ Parent ]
When I (12.00 / 4)
told Sara I could do it once a week I also told her I didn't know if I could stick around for comments.  She told me that was okay that there were others that could work the comments.

Tomorrow wouldn't work for me.  I'll be in Toledo plus its primary day here so I have to make it to the polls sometime too.

Organizing and packing?  Are you going somewhere?

[ Parent ]
yes, we're getting ready to move (11.80 / 5)
toooo much to explain it all in a comment, so I'll email ya with all the details. all's definitely for the better (much, much better) just working out the logistics of moving all the babies to the new home we've found! gha, I hate packing and cleaning and cleaning and packing... but we're so excited at the same time  :O)

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm
[ Parent ]
I hope (11.50 / 4)
you can get the babies moved quicker this time than when you had to get them to PR. ;)

I can't wait to hear about it, but don't rush trying to fit in an email to me until you really have the time.  I remember how exhausting moving is and I can only imagine how much more so with so many babies.  

[ Parent ]
Hi, newp. (15.00 / 4)
You're getting ready to move?  Where to?  just curious.  

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
[ Parent ]
just to the other side of the island (13.80 / 5)
I haven't signed the contract yet, but we've found a great house in the mountains and are working out the logistics of moving a menagerie! long story short - our landlord let us know that he couldn't extend our contract due to his brother needing a place to live. an unexpected obstacle, but definitely not insurmountable! we've got until the end of September, but the sooner I find us a great place the better.

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm
[ Parent ]
Cool!! All the best of luck to you, Juan and all the animals, newp! (12.20 / 5)


The more things change, the more they stay the same.
[ Parent ]
you know (14.33 / 3)
we'll want a photo-essay of the new place, right?
(w/boxes is okay...we've all seen boxes!)
i do so hope you get the house in the mountains....
so you'll be going east-ish?
(& don't forget to send me your new address)

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
It's looking like (13.50 / 4)
...I should be the one to do it. I have the same "post it and go" limitation, tomorrow, but probably less than the rest of you.

I'm sure I have the script, but what time should this be posted? Someone please let me know, either here or at "timbuk3_98-at-yahoo".

[ Parent ]
Follow up (14.75 / 4)
To avoid duplication, if I don't hear from SOMEONE by morning (10AM?) I'll assume newp is going to post it. Sounds like he's got plenty on his plate, though, so I'll be glad to help out if it's needed.
[ Parent ]
Timbuk (15.00 / 3)
it would be great if you could handle it for tomorrow (today!). if there's any problem just let me know, I can still post but won't be around much for the comments.

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm
[ Parent ]
OK, Newp (12.00 / 4)
Message received. Take care of moving.

Does anyone know if it matters when I post it?

[ Parent ]
Alrighty, Then (Please Read) (15.00 / 4)
I have a draft of "Enter a drawing to win one of SaraR's quilts" all ready to go. I emailed Sara; I'm going to publish at or near 11AM EDT today (8/3) unless I hear otherwise. I'll put a link here so you guys can help rec it up.

I won't be able to monitor the diary closely, but I'll try to pop in and out.

PLEASE let me know if someone else is going to publish/has published so I can pull mine.

[ Parent ]
Quilt Diary Is Up (12.00 / 4)
I saw that yesterday's was posted at 10, so hit "go".

Link

[ Parent ]
thank you! (12.00 / 4)
♥~

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Oh HELP! (10.50 / 4)
Any cat fanciers out there?  I Need Help!

See, King Tut was gone for a good week.  Just a bit ago, I was in the kitchen & heard a pitiful mewing.  And there he was...but on the roof, past  the fire escape.  So I picked him up & brought him in, put out food & water..he just went under a shelving unit & lay down again.

At first I thought he couldn't move his hind legs but he cam walk.  He walked to his current place.

I don't know WHAT happened to him or why he seems so sick.

poor baby: what should i do?

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

Don't panic (14.00 / 4)
Keep an eye on him, but there could be lots of reasons why he's not hungry and tired.

A belly full of mice and glad to be home again is one.

We have a couple of cats that go on walkabouts. When they get home they generally meow a lot, want to butt heads for a few minutes, SOMETIMES want something to eat, then they generally crash for hours.

If you can't "don't panic", coax him out and sit with him in you lap for a while. Hopefully it will make ONE of you feel better. ;->

[ Parent ]
I will let him sleep (13.50 / 4)
When he was just lying on the roof & I had to rescue him, I thought something was seriously wrong.  And maybe it is.  But he can walk, and so his back/legs/hips weren't broken in an accident.  (whew!)

Mentioned this before: he came home once, months ago, smelling of flea powder.  So I know he has another place in the 'hood that likes him.

Damn, I hope the l'il bastard is okay.  I've missed him....

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
PS: he seems to be sleeping (12.50 / 4)
right now: out cold.

I am SO glad he's back, but wish he had an appetite.  I still wonder whether he found a family to take him in & decided he likes me better.  But right now, I don't know what to do: I can't afford the vet and I think he's MOSTLY okay.   But not entirely ok.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Youff (15.00 / 4)
before I had our newest tom neutered, he'd disappear for days and come home completely fucked up - he was on the "prowl", scrapping it out with the other toms for their feline prize, and even when he wasn't really scraped up he'd sleep for hours and hours once he finally made his way back home.

I sure hope your little king comes around, a week only thinking about getting laid without a thought for food will really take its toll. keeping you both in my heart, sweetie.

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm

[ Parent ]
No visible wounds? (13.25 / 4)
All I can think of until you get him into a vet is trying to get some water in him in case its dehydration from being out in the heat all week. If you have a syringe or an eyedropper that works.  I've never tried using a spray bottle but if you don't have anything else that might work on stream, but it would probably scare the shit out of him. I think you are probably going to need to make a vet appointment in the morning.  I don't know why they always get sick at night when only the emergency vets are open.  Wish I could be more help.

Sending good vibes to (((((you & Tut)))))

[ Parent ]
I wouldn't be overly worried about dehydration (15.00 / 4)
Cats can go a long time without food and water.

My "don't panic" advice is based on that, and my own experience with cats coming home tired.

I don't, however, want Youf to hate me forever because "I killed her cat". I think keeping an eye on him is a good idea, at least for an hour or two. Best would be to sit with him in her lap, but if he's under something and unreachable it depends on how worried she is. She might actually want to "scoop him out" with a broom stick, or something.

I also don't know anything about Youf's neighborhood, or this cat's history. I know I've read that he gets out sometimes, but that's about it. Is there any chance he could have gotten into some poison on the roof, for example? Ethylene glycol is a nasty poison, for cats. Waiting until morning is probably too late, if that's the case.

I still say "don't panic", but if it was me I'd stay up an extra hour, tonight, and hold him in my lap, too. Just in case.

[ Parent ]
I'm pretty sure the roof didn't (14.75 / 4)
poison him, Timbuk.  Don't know about what's on the ground.

He's not in an unreachable spot...but he's in a happy (for him) spot & went right to sleep.  I hate to disturb him.  Food & water are nearby, if he wants them.

He obviously didn't want them when he ignored them and went to "his" spot.

I'm less panicky now that I've seen him walk on his own.  Still wondering WTF? but SO glad he just came in and made himself at home...even if I had to bring him in the window myself, he seems happy to be here.  Sleeping.

Wish King Tut good health for me, will you?

The little shit is really passed out.  When I spoke to him just now, I saw an ear move...the rest of him is out like a light!

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Of course I'll wish him good health! (15.00 / 4)
Glad there's nothing on the roof to poison him.

One more thing. Often, cats that are sick and dying don't want to be disturbed, so they hide under bushes or whatever they can find, and won't come when they're called. ("Favorite spot" should not be confused with "hiding under bushes", for this.)

I had a male cat that couldn't pee. He went and hid under the neighbor's bushes. If I hadn't looked for him, he'd be dead. So, if Tut can walk, and came home on his own, that may be the best sign, of all.

Still, I understand (believe me) why some people worry about their pets. Glad he's home, and I'll repeat the wishes for his continued good health.

[ Parent ]
Yeah, what freaked me out was (13.75 / 4)
he was just lying on the roof, mewling.  I picked him up * brought him inm then laid him on the floor while I got him food & water & he still didn't move.  So I put him near the food & he finally walked to "his" spot, laid down & I just want to let him rest.

Right now he's in my lap.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Is he purring? (14.50 / 4)
Not that it's necessarily proof of anything. When I picked Kumahl up, the vet said "I've never seen a cat that was so sick purr that much!" But man, there's nothing like a purring cat in your lap to make you feel good.
[ Parent ]
I'd keep an eye on him for awhile longer, and then take him to the vet if he doesn't improve. (14.00 / 4)


The more things change, the more they stay the same.
[ Parent ]
Now (This Morning) If I Hear (13.67 / 3)
"He's back to his old self" it will be a good day, today. ;->
[ Parent ]
me too! (13.67 / 3)
here's hoping Tut is feeling much better!

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
No. (1.00 / 5)
I put triple antibiotic on his very small leg wound.  He's had much worse & recovered.  But this morning he bleated pitifully, so I laid him down in the bathroom, left the fan on: he seemed okay.

Just now I went to the bathroom & he didn't seem to be breathing.  I touched him: he seems stiff.  He was OK before I went out...and his wound is very small.  I wonder whether he got hit by a car and there was internal damage I couldn't see: but he seemed mostly okay last night, except for not eating.  I bought a few cans of cat food this afternoon.  Then:

I dunno.  I don't have the cash for a vet, and my ATM card expired at midnight on Saturday, so until I get a new one I have to go to the bank and get money out.

We slept together last night.  He seemed damaged but not fatally so.

He's dead, Jim.  He was such a sweet boy...but I live in a no-pet apartment & it's entirely too small to keep a pet anyway.

What do I do now?  I can't afford to cremate him.  Even if I could get him to the vet without a car.

Oh, poor little King Tut.  I will miss him.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Oh no (13.50 / 4)
I am so sorry.

"What do I do now?"

Is there anywhere nearby you can bury him? A park near a river? Put him in a shoe box to carry him there? If not, and if you can't get him cremated, I hate to say it but the best thing you can do may be to wrap him in newspaper and put him in a garbage can. (I know how that sounds, but I'm honestly trying to help.)

I feel so bad for you. I don't know what else to say.

This is just rotten news.

[ Parent ]
One more option, Youf (15.00 / 4)
I just thought of this. Call animal control and/or the Humane Society. Ask them what they can do "in this hypothetical situation". I'm sure it varies by city, so don't tell them who you are until you know what you need to know. They may be able to cremate him for you at no charge.
[ Parent ]
gha! (13.50 / 4)
i am ssoooo sorry youff.
but just think... he came home to YOU, who he loved & trusted..
who knows how far he came wounded & all, just to be with you, feel the comfort of your touch...
& if he just went... between one breath & the next... his going was easy, not in pain.
& he'll be there waiting for you when you get there!
big kisshugs, m'dear!

"Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger,
how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man?"
~The Patrician in 'Snuff' by Terry Pratchett


[ Parent ]
Well. He was in some pain. (12.33 / 3)
I know that.  I thought it was his leg, but it must have been internal bleeding.  But he clawed his way up onto the roof to be with me and maybe hoping I could make it all better.  Of course I couldn't...but I'm so glad to have had that last night sleeping with him.  And petting him.  If he had to die, I'm glad it was at home, not on the street or under a shrub somewhere.  Ya know?

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
I AM glad he spent the night (3.25 / 4)
in bed with me.  He didn't seem to be in THAT much discomfort, and I got to pet him and all.

Oh, my poor baby.

Best guess: internal injuries.  Probably I should have taken him to the vet: probably I would have been charged to put him to death.  I think he would rather die in his familiar space than be put to death in a vet's office.  I really think that.  He slept so much since last night...I think maybe he just slipped away in his sleep.  I sure hope so, anyway.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Oh Youff (13.40 / 5)
I'm so so sorry.  

You gave him a good life when he might have had a much, much rougher road.  Having lost a few pooties myself I know there's really nothing I can say to make it better.  I love you dear friend and mourn with you.  

[ Parent ]
Oh, Alma & Timbuk (7.40 / 5)
I am crying.  He was a good boy.

Now I have a dead cat in the bathroom.  I wish it had not ended this way.

He was such a sweetie & deserved better than this.

But I hope that he had a longer & better life than he would have had without me, ya know?

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
I don't know if this will help, but (13.75 / 4)
It's a long story how we ended up with 10 (now 8) cats. We have a cat door. They can come and go. THIS MEANS that they can get hurt, at any time. It's all part of the deal I made with them. I'll provide them with a place to stay and food as long as I'm/they're alive, but I won't "imprison" them. It's worked out well, with the exception of Whiskers, who left and never came home a couple of years ago.

The other cat I lost was Tina. I wrote about her on my blog, Kos, and MLW. In response to the MLW post, Roysol had this to say:

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. He called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment, decided not to enter and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After walking further, at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." So they went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he said.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?  Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad that they use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friend's behind."

We love our pets, and losing them can be hard. It changes our lives. You deserve the chance to cry about it. But I'm not sure I agree "he deserved better than this." You were there when he needed you.

I'm going to step away and give you some room to deal with this, but you are in my thoughts.

[ Parent ]
Thanks, Timbuk (10.75 / 4)
His life might have been much shorter & worse without me -- that is true.  He had a place to stay during snowstorms & thunderstorms & a regular supply of food, and I'm still recovering from the vet bill last spring.

Oh, but I'm going to miss the little fucker.  I already do, in fact.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
I know you miss him, Youf (14.50 / 4)
And, you're absolutely right. He'd have died long ago if it weren't for you.

My wife and I just finished watching "Up" for the second time. Have you seen it? Even if you haven't, you must have seen the commercial with the talking dog, "Doug". Mid-sentence he breaks off with "SQUIRREL!". He's so happy when the old man refers to him as "my dog". The kid, along the way, is reminiscing about his dad (obviously, before a divorce and remarriage to a woman who keeps him away). They'd sit on a curb eating ice cream, one counting blue cars the other counting red cars. Whoever got the most "won". Then he says "it's the boring stuff that's best", or something close to that. The movie ends with the kid and the old man sitting on a curb, counting cars and eating ice cream, with the dog.

I see a blue one.
I see a red one.
I see a gray one. (That's the dog. ;-> )

Have you tried calling animal control or the Humane Society? Here, they're the same thing. Maybe where you're at, you may want to call the Humane Society, first. They tend to be really kind and understanding, and may be able to help you deal with the body in a way that won't be too painful.

Now, I have what may be some truly bad advice. You say you can't have pets where you live. You may, BTW, find that your life improves when you don't have a pet to take care of. I know when I'm away from home for a few days I worry about my cats. So getting a pet may be the dumbest thing you can do, right now. But, if you decide you do want one, consider this; people are losing everything, these days. Some kid, or some adult as far as that goes, shed tears when they dropped their beloved pet off somewhere after losing their home. So, if you decide you want an indoor cat (some cats are happier that way), consider going to a shelter that doesn't guarantee "no kill" and rescue an older one.

[ Parent ]
There are enough strays around here to adopt...but no, (10.00 / 2)
it says right in my lease "no pets" and I'm still crying about King Tut: I don't wanna think about another cat.  Plus the vet bills kill me...I make a pittance, barely enough to cover rent, DSL and electricity & still eat & have a bit of a social life.  (Not MUCH of a social life, but, hey, I'm no hermit.)

Oh, my poor baby.  He was SO good.  Although he did bite my feet if he was hungry & thought I wasn't getting his bowl filled quickly enough, LOL!

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
I Wish I Could Talk To You (15.00 / 1)
Face to face.

I feel so bad about my "don't panic" response. I misunderstood, I think, the "scene" you were looking at. When I heard "roof" I pictured "above your apartment". Now, I'm seeing a window out onto a roof top. A cat laying out there, unable to make it to your window. You walking out to pick him up.

My "advice" would have been different.

And no, Youf, I'm not looking for absolution.

I understand what it means to be broke. I've been broke. More than once. One of the things I'm proudest of is my ability to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back in the game. (ExTREEMELY long story, maybe I'll tell it sometime. It'll be a book...)

I understood perfectly what you were saying about not being able to afford to take him to the vet.

So what I'd really like to be able to do is take you in my arms (yeah, I'm married, but one of the things my wife likes about me is my compassion), let you cry, and reassure you that you really DID do the best you could. But more than that, your best was good enough.

My advice would have been, had I "seen" the picture you painted better, to take him to a vet.

But honestly, Youf, no one is mad at you for not doing more than you can afford to do.

I'm really failing, here, to convey what I'm trying to say. I think it's because I feel so bad, myself. Let me try again.

First try; I lied in my story about Tina. I told a friend of mine, a true animal lover, the truth. I shot her. She was in pain, and dying. It was a half hour drive to the vet, and I didn't want to put her through that. So I walked into the woods with her under my arm and put a bullet through her head. She stopped breathing immediately. It was over. I didn't know what to expect when I told him. His response, which amazed me, was "you're stronger than I am!" She was dying. It was, in part, a financial decision to let her go. At the time, I made 6 figures. I could afford to put her in intensive care, but she was going to continue to suffer. So I took "the cheap route" and let her die.

Today, my only "regret" is "did I let her suffer too long?"

Second try; I have almost 6 grand invested in Kumahl. One third of a C-section, and two trips to intensive care. One of those trips to IC was when I was in HI. I spoke to the vet every morning at 3AM local time.

He's a wonderful cat. My wife calls him "Ferdinand", because he's HUGE and he only wants to smell the flowers. Bandit picks on him. Bandit thinks he's the alpha, but he lacks the size to prove it to Kumahl. It's funny. Kumahl puts his paw on Bandit's head, and let's Bandit swing away.

So, now that I'm unemployed, I worry. My wife wasn't real happy with my decision to sink so much money into him, but seeing as how I made 5X as much money as her she went along with it. Now, all I can do is hope it (urinary blockage) doesn't happen again, because I KNOW it will be a fight. "You can't spend that much on him, now!" "Oh, yes I can!"

Third try; There's no shame in not being wealthy, and in doing the very best that you can. He came home. You have closure. Because he knew he was dying, and he wanted to be with you.

I understand why you miss him.

I understand why you mourn his/your loss.

And I'm sure you'll be OK.

The pain will fade in time, and you'll have a new life without him.

And I honestly can't believe I posted this.

I LIKE you.

Be well, Youf.

I would be honored to call you a friend.

Because you're kind to animals.

And I'm an animal over, who shares your grief.

[ Parent ]
Feeding Time On The Deck (12.50 / 2)

Top to bottom, left to right; Sangha, Mama Gray, Aggie (Agatha), Bluie (his Majesty Prince Blue Floyd), Bandit.

Inside, Thomas is cleaning the cans (which is exactly what he wants), Kumahl and Allyson are on the counter, eating off their own private plates.

Feeding time is interesting. Next, Bandit will come in and finish Allyson and Kumahl's plates. He likes to think he's special, too.

If ya ever wanna pet a kittie...

This is the place. ;->

[ Parent ]
At One Time (15.00 / 1)
...Spain was the predominate military power one the earth.

Think about it.


[ Parent ]
oh my beautiful friend (13.80 / 5)
I'm crying with you. Your baby's resting in peace, and he'll never be forgotten. And I'm sure Thor was waiting for his big brother.

I can't write all I want to say using this phone, but as soon as I can I'll email you.

Love you, sister



It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm

[ Parent ]
thanks, newp (11.75 / 4)
He was SUCH a good boy.  Just like Thor...I hope they are playing together over the Rainbow Bridge, y'know?

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
It's NOT your fault (15.00 / 4)
"Probably I should have..."

You did the very best you could. You couldn't be with him when he left the house, wherever he was when he got hurt.

He came home to you, spent the night with you, you were his choice to spend his last day with. Now he's over the rainbow bridge, waiting for you.

Shit, I've got tears in my eyes, now.

I'm so sorry, Youf.

Thanks, at least, for letting us know.

[ Parent ]
He was a good boy... (10.80 / 5)
he came up my fire escape & decided to move in.

I will give the cat food to a coworker.

The vet said that she had cats who were indoor/outdoor & understood that I could not keep him in: a fire escape cat needs his freedom.

But damn, I saw him check for traffic before crossing the street.  I thought he'd be okay.

I miss the little shit.  But am glad he came home: at least I don't have to wonder whether he's dead on the street somewhere.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Sorry about your loss, Youff. (14.60 / 5)
  Having gone through that myself not all that long ago, I'm aware of the emotional, psychological and (sometimes physical) pain that goes along with losing a beloved pet companion, because pets are so like and part of the family!  My thoughts are with you during these difficult times.  Hope King Tut's in a cool place, and that you find another cat companion soon.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
[ Parent ]
Thanks, Miki (12.60 / 5)


English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
You're welcome, Youff. (15.00 / 2)


The more things change, the more they stay the same.
[ Parent ]
Exactly right (14.50 / 4)
"I could not keep him in: a fire escape cat needs his freedom."

That's the deal I have with my cats, and I wouldn't change a thing even though I know it carries a risk.

[ Parent ]
What about the flea powder? Could that have had something to do with it? (15.00 / 3)
Also, Regarding the small wound that King Tut had....for animals and humans, the tiniest break in the skin provides an opening for omnipresent bacteria on the skin/fur, or in the air, or from whatever he got the small wound from to get a free ride and enter the system, causing a widespread systemic infection.  That, too, might well be a possibility, imho.  

Do what you need to do to mourn. We're all here to provide support.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[ Parent ]
Miki, he came home ONCE, months (10.60 / 5)
ago, smelling of flea powder.  It might have been a year ago, by now.

And his leg wasn't broken.

No: I am thinking he got hit by a car or something like that.

Usually he would have been in the window, crying to get in.  Instead, he was on the roof, letting out these pathetic little mews.  So I brought him in -- but didn't realize how badly hurt he was.

Mea culpa.  I thought it was just his leg.  But even if I had taken him to the vet & he could have been saved...I wouldn't have had the money to pay for it.

So in a way, I'm glad he was able to die at home, instead of by a needle.

Of course, I'd rather have had him alive & well & recuperating.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Well, (15.00 / 2)
To begin with, how old was King Tut?  If he's getting up age, his immune system may well have gone down, leaving him
vulnerable to illness or infection.  

If he'd been hit by a car, wouldn't it have been more obvious?

Also, since King Tut had a number of other things happen to him over the years, his immune system may well have been overtaxed, leaving him much more vulnerable.

It's good that King Tut was able to be at home where he was loved, instead of becoming yet another statistic at an animal morgue or whatever, and it's painful when pets pass over that rainbow, no matter what.

I can't really speak for King Tut or any other animal, but it sounds like his death was a rather bewildering set of circumstances when there's no closure to be had regarding what happened to him.  

Here's hoping you can find another cat companion, and that you're eventually able to find a job that'll save you some money so you can get another pet cat (about as easy as finding a needle in a haystack, given this economy, I know), but again, take the time to mourn that you need.  Again, sorry about your loss, and all the best of luck.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[ Parent ]
No, if he got hit by a car (8.33 / 3)
it wouldn't necessarily show.  I think he must have been bleeding internally.  That was very difficult to type: but it's what I think must have happened.  He made it up onto the roof but not onto the fire escape: if I had money, I should have taken him to an emergency room immediately.

And they would have advised me that he couldn't be saved and charged me $400 for the visit, and the needle, and the cremation.

I don't have $400.  So he and I cuddled up & I got one last night with my boy.

I am crying again: but I am glad that I wasn't left wondering whether he was dead or alive on the street somewhere.

I'm glad he came home.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
But, oh, I will miss him, Miki. (7.00 / 3)
The little shit...he used to bite my toes if he thought I wasn't feeding him quickly enough!  And on cold nights, he was cuddled up right next to me.

Gha! I miss him.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  

[ Parent ]
Oh, and I think he was about two years old. (10.00 / 2)
I can't be sure...but around that, yeah.  He was maybe 6 months when he first started coming around, and that was about a year and a half ago.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
Youff (12.20 / 5)
I am so sorry!!!  :o(

hug Pictures, Images and Photos

Bear Shake Tree Pictures, Images and Photos

[ Parent ]
Thanks, Kathleen (12.50 / 2)
{{{{{hugs}}}}}

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street.
E. B. White  
[ Parent ]
Youff (14.33 / 6)
I just thought of something...

he came back to you because he knew he was going to die and he wanted to be home with you!!  That is just about the sweetest thing, he loved you that much to make it back home.  I remember you saying he just slept, it probably wasn't easy getting home because he wasn't well but he did it!

Bear Shake Tree Pictures, Images and Photos

so true (14.20 / 5)
he knew where he was loved.  

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Thoreau ... and, do no harm
[ Parent ]
Open Thoughts- Monday for the Earth ..... secret garden | 78 comments

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